You all know the story a bit too well. You saw it with Kago. You saw it with Goto. You saw it with Fukuda (yes, believe it or not, Fukuda HAD fans). You saw it with all the entire Elder Club, goddamnit. And you could always hear this horrific war cry, this scream that would make Jesus crap his pants and hide behind Papa’s chair. What’s the rare, strange, primitive and stupid being that just made that horrible sound? Oh yeah.
Does it begin with “Kanye” or ends with “West”?
The Fans, of course. Or as they call themselves, Wotas (that’s nothing to be proud of, but they feel wished by the opposite sex when they say they are this).
Fans are just like an annoying girlfriend. She’s all “I love you” when you give her what she wants, but she can become a self-centered paranoid bitch when you do something wrong, like smoking, dating old men, dating comedians, dating douchebags, or “dropping out to finish you school education” (wich we are going to call “An Asspull” from now on). The might even kick you in the groin! (And will if provoked).
One thing is sure. They DO love you, so that’s a start. But for each good trait they have, a shitload of defects follows them. They are psychopaths, pedophiles (seriously, I don’t know how can they see “legal” some 40+ old mans hanging out in a great stadium (or dome, whatever) to see S/mileage), crazy sociopaths (<- spelling, anyone?), or just plain stupid people with a really big paranoia.
Pictured above: Non-Legal shit. So move along, you overweighted dipshit.
“OH MAH GAWD, Gomaki saw Nakai-kun for more than 3 second, they are totally dating!” or “Fuck Miki’s husband, I just wish the little bitch burns in hell!” or “Itano Tomomi’s ass is way better than any other AKB48 girl, because I say so!”, and some more crap like that. If you actually do love H!P, you are (most probably) one of said persons. If you aren’t, then you have definitely get in a conversation like this:
You: Oh, hi! – Wota: Hi lol. – You: Do you know the good news? Iida is going to get married! – Wota: OMGLOLBBQ, is that for real?! – You: Yeah. – Wota: Who’s the whore?! – You: What? – Wota: WHO’S THE DICK THAT FEELS HE CAN MARRY MY KAORIN?!?! – You: Relax man, he seems like a good guy. – Wota: Good guy my ass! He is motherfucking worm, and should die, like you if you support him! – You: Whatever dude, I’m outta here. – Wota: FUCK YOU! I LIVE IN JAPAN AND KNOW AIBON BECAUSE I TALK TO HER TROUGH HER MYSPACE, AND I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THAT MYSPACE LOOKS MORE FAKE THAN MICHAEL’S NOSE! MY COUSIN IS IN AKB48 AND SHE IS GOING TO INTRODUCE ME TO THE PERFUME GIRLS! I HAVE EVERY H!P SINGLE/ALBUMS AND HAVE ATTENDED EVERY CONCERT! BLARGHABABLABAJJB!!
Seriously, what the hell?
Ooooh, but don’t try to make them see their wrong doings or attack their poor choice of words, because they will begin a rant that won’t finish until you get really pissed off at them (by the time this happens, they might disappear and you would never be able to hear from them again), or they die.
Most likely scenario.
So, conclusions:
- They can’t write for shit.
- They can’t be nice for shit.
- They seem to know what things piss you off, always.
- They are found everywhere.
- Their only argument is that everyone else in the world except their idol and them are bitches.
- Don’t fight them. You would think they are just trolling, but nope. People actually think like that.
- They are capable of everything, just to prove you wrong.
- Their obsession knows of no limits.
- They will try to insult you, even if said insult has no sense or proof whatsoever.
- They are immature.
- Their moms are men.
The Explosive Wota 