Fandom VS The Explosive Wota. Or “Why do I call myself a wota if I hate their guts?!”

28 Sep

You all know the story  a bit too well. You saw it with Kago. You saw it with Goto. You saw it with Fukuda (yes, believe it or not, Fukuda HAD fans). You saw it with all the entire Elder Club, goddamnit. And you could always hear this horrific war cry, this scream that would make Jesus crap his pants and hide behind Papa’s chair. What’s the rare, strange, primitive and stupid being that just made that horrible sound? Oh yeah.

Does it begin with “Kanye” or ends with “West”?

The Fans, of course. Or as they call themselves, Wotas (that’s nothing to be proud of, but they feel wished by the opposite sex when they say they are this).

Fans are just like an annoying girlfriend. She’s all “I love you” when you give her what she wants, but she can become a self-centered paranoid bitch when you do something wrong, like smoking, dating old men, dating comedians, dating douchebags, or “dropping out to finish you school education” (wich we are going to call “An Asspull” from now on). The might even kick you in the groin! (And will if provoked).

One thing is sure. They DO love you, so that’s a start. But for each good trait they have, a shitload of defects follows them. They are psychopaths, pedophiles (seriously, I don’t know how can they see “legal” some 40+ old mans hanging out in a great stadium (or dome, whatever) to see S/mileage), crazy sociopaths (<- spelling, anyone?), or just plain stupid people with a really big paranoia.

Pictured above: Non-Legal shit. So move along, you overweighted dipshit.

“OH MAH GAWD, Gomaki saw Nakai-kun for more than 3 second, they are totally dating!” or “Fuck Miki’s husband, I just wish the little bitch burns in hell!” or “Itano Tomomi’s ass is way better than any other AKB48 girl, because I say so!”, and some more crap like that. If you actually do love H!P, you are (most probably) one of said persons. If you aren’t, then you have definitely get in a conversation like this:

You: Oh, hi! – Wota: Hi lol. – You: Do you know the good news? Iida is going to get married! – Wota: OMGLOLBBQ, is that for real?! – You: Yeah. – Wota: Who’s the whore?! – You: What? – Wota: WHO’S THE DICK THAT FEELS HE CAN MARRY MY KAORIN?!?! – You: Relax man, he seems like a good guy. – Wota: Good guy my ass! He is motherfucking worm, and should die, like you if you support him! – You: Whatever dude, I’m outta here. – Wota: FUCK YOU! I LIVE IN JAPAN AND KNOW AIBON BECAUSE I TALK TO HER TROUGH HER MYSPACE, AND I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THAT MYSPACE LOOKS MORE FAKE THAN MICHAEL’S NOSE! MY COUSIN IS IN AKB48 AND SHE IS GOING TO INTRODUCE ME TO THE PERFUME GIRLS! I HAVE EVERY H!P SINGLE/ALBUMS AND HAVE ATTENDED EVERY CONCERT! BLARGHABABLABAJJB!!

Seriously, what the hell?

Ooooh, but don’t try to make them see their wrong doings or attack their poor choice of words, because they will begin a rant that won’t finish until you get really pissed off at them (by the time this happens, they might disappear and you would never be able to hear from them again), or they die.

Most likely scenario.

So, conclusions:

  • They can’t write for shit.
  • They can’t be nice for shit.
  • They seem to know what things piss you off, always.
  • They are found everywhere.
  • Their only argument is that everyone else in the world except their idol and them are bitches.
  • Don’t fight them. You would think they are just trolling, but nope. People actually think like that.
  • They are capable of everything, just to prove you wrong.
  • Their obsession knows of no limits.
  • They will try to insult you, even if said insult has no sense or proof whatsoever.
  • They are immature.
  • Their moms are men.
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2 Responses to “Fandom VS The Explosive Wota. Or “Why do I call myself a wota if I hate their guts?!””

  1. Sarah October 6, 2010 at 5:20 pm #

    Hi, how’s it going?

    Good article, I can totally agree with you. Y’ see I don’t care what happens within Hello! Project. I find a lot of young fans (I’m mid-twenties and therefore old enough not to give a shit) tend to justify someone’s actions in order to make themselves feel better. Good examples, Kanna being a lesbian (go for it sister), Miyabi’s scandal (don’t care), Ayaka saying she doesn’t like foreigners (well duh most Japanese don’t) and whatever else happens that I don’t give a shit about. Wotas tend to bend the obvious to make a situation feel okay for themselves and that said person likes them and will be their friends instantly when they meet. But we must sympathise, they’re only teenagers. Remember what you were like when you were a teen?

    However you missed some important things about wotas. Wotas tend to use the word “kawaiiiiii” as if the damn word is quickly going out of fashion/stock. And the worst one being verrrry uptight about the contract and not allowing dating. Seriously, it’s none of anyone’s business. STFU.

    Sorry if this makes no sense but I have been drinking some fine *checks* Dutch import beer. Good evening to you! :-)

    I hope there’s a scandal where half of them turn out to be lesbians. I’d love to see the reaction.

    • explosiveisamu October 16, 2010 at 12:24 am #

      Well, you become like that in your teens. It’s just natural. You need someone to love, don’t you? But wotas are… damn, they are just too far away of the frontier that separates composed people from psychopaths.

      And aout those who yell “Kawaii!!” at everything, god, it just pisses me off. When that happens I suddenly have this huge urge to kick myself in the freakin’ face. I actually have an idea of a post about that same topic.

      And I would love if the girls come up as lesbians. Because JunJun is such an obvious one. That would make them more appealing to the public (open-minded public, that is).

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