FUCK YEAH!

16 Mar

I just have to share this with you guys, but I think some of you might have watched it already. I haven’t seen such an amazing feat in a long time. It’s about this little dude (who we shall call “Skeleguy” bullying this other fat kid (also known as “Patty-Boy”). I mean, just watch it and you know why I am so excited about it.

Warning: Image’s quality is shitty at best.

“‘Sup girls, I’m here just, you know, being a fuckin’ douche. Just the usual.”

At this moment I was like “Meh, another boy getting bullied”. I wasn’t bullied back in the day, just the ocassional “Four-eyes” and “Nalganator” (Wich loosely translates to “Assnator”. I had a huge ass back then and I was skinny, so I looked kinda funny… I guess.) stuff. I mostly gave a crap about it, but I always got into trouble for standing up for my best friend (little guy, skinny, fuckload of acne) and his brother (pretty much the same, not so acne-ridden and more kind of a ladies’ man tough). I wasn’t big myself, so they kicked the shit out of me every single time.

HEADSHOT!

At this moment Patty-Boy gets punched. Hard. I can’t express how much rage I get inside. “COME ON BITCH, SHOW HIM WHAT YOU’VE GOT!” I screamed. Patty-Boy was 2 times the man Skeleguy was. Still, he did nothing. Two girls watched the show, actually amused of what was going on. Bitches.

“Oh no, he didn’t!”

At this moment Skeleguy was feeling big, like he was the real shit. Patty-Boy got mad, really mad. I mean, look at his big fat fist. The way he closes it tells you his Rage Meter just went up to eleven. He was angry. I bet even more angry at the dancing Skeleguy just in front of him. Then, Skeleguy punched (softly I might add) his tummy, thinking Patty-Boy was defeated. Destroyed in shame and agony. He saw his opponent defeated. He tought he had already won.

Then shit got very fuckin’ real.

OH SHIT.

Showing the speed and agility you would expect of a really fuckin’ fast and really fuckin’ agile fat kid, Patty-Boy snapped and grabbed his opponent and forced him into submission. But Skeleguy, denying Patty-Boy of his sweet victory tried to resist. He did pretty well at first. He was skinny, Patty-Boy doubled him in size. Such an amazing feat, to have the weight of two yous and still don’t give up. But then…

ME IS ANGRY!

Patty-Boy, praying to the Nordic gods to lend him strength, lifts Skeleguy up to his shoulder, and even more. He literally Hulked the fuck up, unlocked the hidden potential of his blood, the blood of a long-lost royal family. I have to say, I didn’t expect this. Sure, just throwing him or making him fall on his ass would have worked for me. Patty-Boy gained my respect when he stood up and grabbed that little shit. By now, I have seen how a fat kid grows some balls. And right now, I have just seen how the  boy becomes a man. The apprentice becomes the master. The mortal becomes the god. The Patty-Boy becomes…

BURGER-DUDE SMASH!

The new man, Burger-Dude literally crashed his arch-nemesis onto the ground, getting him out of combat. The amount of damage Skeleguy took was enormous, but the amount of damage his ego took was even bigger. Burger-Dude fucked him up really good. Destroyed. His self-esteem shattered below the victorious feet of the man formerly know as Patty-Boy. At this moment this other dude comes up (dubbed “Minister Of Crapping-Myself City”). Minister Of Crapping-Myself City gets between the two combatants, presumably swearing at Burger-Dude and all he stands for, but without making a single move on him. His fear was so great that he just couldn’t bring himself to make Burger-Dude angry. Burger-Dude smiled. He could have killed the Minister Of Crapping-Myself City, of course. But he didn’t. His real enemy lies on the ground, defeated. He didn’t need to spill more blood. And as big legends do, he turned around, left whatever honor Skeleguy had left intact, an leaved the place with his mighty fist up in the air while the sound of his epicness came out of nowhere. Nobody could match him. Nobody could keep up with him. Rumours says that he became Captain Burger-Dude, Defender Of The Bullied sometime after. Others say that he disappeared mysteriously, leaving to unknown places where the bullied are bullied by a bully who bullies. Nobody knows for sure.

DA! DA DA DA! DA DA DA! DADDADDA! THEEEE EYEE OF THE TIGEEEEEEEEER! ♪

I’m not a pro-violence person. But Burger-Dude gotta do what Burger-Dude gotta do.

“Let him go Minister. He won.” “Phew, glad you stopped me. Mind if go to the bathroom?” “Do you feel ill?” “If by “feel ill” you mean “totally shit my pants”, then yes I do.”

Le video:

EDIT: The vid was deleted, sorry. Anyway, google “fat kid fights back” and you’ll be able to see it, I hope.

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